Caller: “I’m not looking for anything sexual, but if I were not able to place my hands on your breasts, I would not be interested.”
Me: “It sounds like this is not the service you are looking for. I wish you all the best in finding the right practitioner for you.”
I have had more than one potential client express interest in my service, insist they are not seeking a sexual experience in any way, and then tell me that if they cannot focus their touch on my breasts and or buttocks then my service is of no interest to them after all. I don’t mind that these folks screen themselves out. I’m glad they can state what they’re looking for, and that it’s so clear to me that what they’re looking for is outside of what I provide.
I look forward to the day when nurturing touch is a well-enough known concept that “give yourself the gift of nurturing touch” isn’t quite as confusing as it is seems to be today. The benefits of the service are clear. Affectionate touch reduces stress and communicates support and safety. Touch stimulates the vagus nerve and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the state in which our body heals. Deep relaxation – that floaty feeling that happens when you’re really relaxed – is positively correlated with both well-being and creativity. A nurturing cuddle can help people reach and sustain this state. In fact, recent research suggests that many of the benefits we’ve historically assigned to regular sexual contact may be due to the affectionate touch and have nothing to do with sexual stimulation.
I explain these benefits to people like this afternoon’s caller – but many of them aren’t interested. They don’t want the touch if there are restrictions like “we both keep our clothes on” or “no genital stimulation.” I’m never mad at people for stating what they’re looking for…but it does make me wonder if it’s possible some people are looking in the wrong place? That the belief that touch without sexual stimulation is, as one caller told me, “pointless” is simply misinformed?
We’ve got a long way to go before our culture catches up to the state of the science on touch, though. Our touch phobia plays havoc with our mental and physical health – increasing aggressionand stress and robbing us of comfort and relaxation. Then again, I didn’t start up this business because everybody already knew these things. I’ll keep looking for new ways to explain what I do, and why it’s beneficial, and eventually people will notice the importance and value.
There’s a famous quote that goes something like this:
“First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they attack you. Then you win.”
Almost a year in, I can tell you that the nurturing touch business today sits somewhere between stage one and stage two. That’s cool with me, I’m gonna stay on this path, because when we get further down the road, it’s not going to be just me who wins.